Several years ago I was in a toxic relationship. YOU KNOW the one where you’re walking on eggshells: afraid to say the wrong thing, always wondering if they are looking for someone else, looking to them for approval, and building your life around what they want.
A friend heard Two Buttons was closing. It was an import shop with lots of cool crystals, statues and more. Fans of Eat, Pray, Love may remember a divorce after the love...that was why the store was closing. When I arrived I saw a tall, brilliant amethyst. It must have been just taller than my 5’6” frame. I wanted it. Best price I’d ever seen. But when I called my boyfriend for his thoughts he said I was crazy for spending money on something like that. My friend called me out. She said she would have never asked permission. It’s your money. YOU should just buy it. I didn’t. Too much fear in making my boyfriend unhappy. We kept browsing the warehouse sized store. Later I see a H U G E rose quartz. It was raw, about 25lbs and over a foot wide and tall. I placed my hands around it and could feel this vibration. It was calm. It cheered me up in a way. It was dissolving my need to seek approval. In fact, I didn’t call my boyfriend; I brought it home.
When I got home I placed the gorgeous rose quartz on his nightstand. Figuring if it made me feel that way, maybe it would help him. I had high hopes. He didn’t keep much on the nightstand, so there wasn’t much of a pushback. Just his normal grumbles of me not being perfect. After about 4 months I wondered why it wasn’t doing the job for him that it had done for me. Then it hit me that it was on the wrong nightstand. I moved it. Slowly I started regaining my love for myself and seeking my own approval. Today it’s still on my nightstand and my nightstand is the only one in my bedroom...for now!